Anyone whose tried to save time by driving into the city knows that, if its not the obstacle of traffic, a plethora of one-way streets or thoroughly confusing road signs, it’s the obtaining of one little parking space. Knowing where they are is only half the battle, while getting to that hive of white lines also includes a good hour or more of driving in circles, seeking either that mythical free space, a leaving car or, if all else fails, an easily mounted curb. Not only do we have the nuisance of super-mini-cars, disguised as empty spaces, we also have the misfortune of discovering the local biker that hasn’t found the specialized motorcycle parking yet.
Locating that mythical space isn’t always the end of the journey, either. Oh no. Due to bad parking, insane architects and line-painters with no depth perception, our next task is akin to either a jigsaw or a virus-effected game of Tetris. At that point where all your passengers have to get out before parking, and the driver needs either a roof-door or the gymnastic ability to climb through windows, its probably a sign you need to return to the previous stage: seek find.
One such parking lot, on the corner of Eden and Short, was designed by intelligent chimpanzees suffering from tourrettes. Many a customer has proclaimed their dissatisfaction to the main developer: Wilson Parking, mostly at the lack of space due to the above features.
In response to these pleas Wilson Parking kindly closed their open door policy into the underground parking, now only available to monthly subscribers. Despite the fact that this particular parking has plenty of spaces available due to not many people having knowledge of its existence, including those monthly cardholders who had been parking in the corner-lot, and who’d sent in their complaints in the first place.
And so instead of hiring contractors to widen the corner-lot by a mere inch, Wilson Parking has once again shown its supreme business aptitude in thoroughly retaining their image as utter Wankers. These are the same people whose machines eat your money without reward, due to a difficult button-meshing trick needed to actually procure the ticket, and who then refuse to return to you even a cent. They need the money more than you, obviously, since their regular customers usually boycott them for public transportation. Possibly in order to retain what little sanity they have left.
Play it smart when driving into the city: traffic cop tickets are cheaper than your psychiatrist’s bill; park in the park.
Today’s Quotable Quote:
“Nothing worth doing is easy.”